Savoring

Dear Sweet Ziva,

Today you came over to me, signed “milk” and said, “gup gup!” (Which in your language, means, “milk milk!”) I grabbed you and my knitting and settled down for a quick toddler-esque nursing session, you know, the kind where you nurse and simultaneously make me smell your feet, or play patty cake, or make a fist and knock on your head… that kind of thing that ends abruptly and you roll off my lap and run over to your toy basket.

Today you were so cuddly, you were clutching my hair with one hand and lying so still. Soon your eyes started to droop and you fell asleep, slowly breathing… in, out, in, out…

My head told me to go lay you down so you would get a decent nap and I could get some housework done.

My heart reminded me of the times when you would fall asleep every time you nursed. You only took up half as much room on my lap then. Today your legs hung over the side of the couch along with mine.

I stayed on the couch and continued knitting with you on my lap for about a half hour, relishing this time with you. The past year and a half has flown by, and I know that times like these are now fleeting and far between.

So today I chose to watch, hold, snuggle, love and just be with you. Housework will still be here tomorrow. Tomorrow you’ll be one day older than you are today.

I love you, baby.

Love, Mama

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